It's Been a Year!

It was a year ago (tomorrow) that Jon and I were on the phone with a social worker, guardian ad litem and foster mother, asking questions about two little girls we had only heard about the week before. We had received a copy of the child study (background information, as well as behavioral and developmental details), had read it and were armed with a bunch of questions. We sat in Jon's truck at my work, nervously answering their questions about us. It was like the most high-stakes interview! We got good vibes from them; they seemed to like us and the social worker told us she'd be in touch, one way or the other, by the end of the week. We would have to wait 3 whole days to find out if we were a good match! Considering we'd been waiting for about 15 months to even get to this part in the process, 3 days shouldn't have been a problem but the thought of waiting that long was excruciating! What if they say no?!?!  Thankfully, we didn't have to wait three days, we only had to wait about an hour!! The social worker called back and said that they really liked us and if we were still interested, she'd like to schedule a face-to-face meeting!!

Us, right before the phone interview (All images are phone pics, so pardon the poor quality)

Let me back up for a minute to explain the process that led us to this point:
- We had to attend a 9 week course required for all prospective adoptive and foster parents, focusing on parenting styles and the unique issues that come with kids from foster care (June 2013, a day before our 10 year wedding anniversary!)

- Then we had to have a  series of 2 home visits in which a person we did not know came to our home to evaluate us to make sure we weren't crazy people who would harm a child, as well as a 50 question information packet we each had to fill out with questions ranging from where we were born, our parents' parenting styles, how we would parent, sibling information, etc. Additionally, we had to get fingerprinted for background checks at the Local, State and Federal levels. One of our biggest worries at this point was whether or not our case worker would be a dog person. It's one thing to say you like dogs, but to be greeted at the door by 3 big dogs could be a bit overwhelming. Our case worker was so sweet and loved our pups, even to the point of staring affectionately into Traddles' eyes as he invaded her personal space on the couch. In even the seemingly small concerns, God was telling us not to worry.

-We then waited to hear if our home study was approved. Another wait that felt excruciating, but in reality it was only a few weeks (December 2013)

-Now the real fun (NOT!) started- searching for our child/children. There are matching events which take place within our county  quarterly in which prospective adoptive parents who have an approved home study gather with social workers and some of the kids available for adoption to see if any sparks fly. We attended 4 of these. Meanwhile, we also searched online in the Heart Galleries to try to find our kids. We submitted our home study when we felt there was potential, getting more frustrated with each passing month that nothing was happening. In June 2014, we submitted our home study for a sibling group of three in a county near Tampa. We were told we were not a match, but that our home study could be kept on file in case we were a match for someone else. This seemed like a long shot (Why would they choose someone out of county?) but we gave our home study to the person whose name was provided.

-Late September 2014, on my TEN MINUTE BREAK at work, as soon as I sat down, my phone rang!! It was an unknown number, but at this point in our life we were answering every unknown number with great anticipation! A woman introduced herself and said she was from an adoption organization near Tampa. She said she had our home study on file and after a few minutes of me trying to remember who all we'd submitted our study to I finally figured out how she got ours in her hand (from our interest in the sibling trio over the summer). She said there were two little African-American girls, ages 3 and 5 who were ready for adoption and their team thought we'd be a good match. Were we interested? Uh, let me think....HECK TO THE YES!! She told me a brief synopsis of their history and I said that I think we were interested but I needed to talk to my husband and that I would call her right back. When I called Jon we just laughed and laughed.  God is good!

Before the face-to-face interview, we stopped at the beach

Our face-to-face interview took place the first week in October 2014. We were initially told that we might be able to meet the girls after the interview, but once we got there we were told that  a supervisor had said they had to interview other people and not just us, before a meet with the girls could take place. So, although that was disappointing, we understood that they need to make sure they were 100 percent sure of their decision before bringing the girls into the picture. This interview was basically exactly like the phone interview, except in person with a few more details thrown in. And we got to see a better picture of the girls than what was posted on the Heart Gallery. It was from their first day of school and we were both struck by how beautiful they were! On the way home we discussed how we felt it went, our disappointment at not being able to meet them yet, how long the drive was (2.5 hours!!) for a 30 minute interview. But then we got an e-mail saying that if we were still definitely interested, they wanted to know. They still had to interview other people, but wanted to make sure we were in it for good. We definitely were! The next week or so was just a bunch of waiting where daily we tried to reassure ourselves that God's plan for our family was perfect, trying not to get our hopes up too high. Then a word from God came to Jon saying that these girls were ours, we were to be their parents! That put our hearts at ease, but doubt started to creep back in as we hadn't heard from the social worker yet. Then, one morning as I was brushing my teeth and contemplating calling the social worker to see where we stood, God used my own words, the words I used on the kids I worked with, "This is one of those times where you just have to sit and be still." Ok, God, I trust you. Later that day, the social worker called and said that we were chosen to meet the girls and that we were the potential match for them!!

After meeting our kids!

I was pregnant once a long time ago. It resulted in a miscarriage. It was sad and awful, as these things usually are. The online due-date calculators told us that the baby would be born on October 17th. When that day came around, it was sad and awful all over again. But our God is a God of redemption and renewal and perfect timing. The social worker suggested October 17th as the day we would meet our girls. It was perfect. We were introduced to them as friends of their foster mom (who they call Grandma and who they lived with for 4 years while grown ups made choices that determined their future) and because we had seen pictures we spotted them right away. True to their nature, the little one took to use almost immediately and the elder one stood back and watched cautiously. We met at a park and they were just running the playground and making friends with other kids. The guardian ad litem suggested we take a walk to get the girls away from the more intriguing playground equipment so we could get to know them a bit. We walked to a skate park to watch the skaters and the little one climbed into Jon's lap and started squeezing his face and singing to him. How I wished I had my camera, the sun was coming in low and their two faces looking at each other were perfectly silhouetted against the light. But that image is etched in my memory and so who needs a camera, right?!? She jumped down a little while later and Jon took Big Sis to go look at the water. Little Sis climbed into my lap and talked to me briefly until she realized Jon had gone and said to me, "Hey! Where'd that other guy go?!?" and ran to catch up with him. He was her best friend from the beginning! There were piggy back rides and some hand holding and over all giddiness from Jon and me all while trying to play it cool.  I'm not sure what was going through their heads, but Big Sis has since told me that she knew when she saw us that we were going to be her Mommy and Daddy.  We were told that the meeting with the girls would be brief, maybe 15 or 20 minutes, but we were with them for 45 minutes! As the social worker walked us back to our car, she told us that we were the official match for the girls, if we were still interested. Of course we were and we already knew that!!!

Sunset on the way to my parents to tell them the happy news

We drove the back way through old stomping grounds, reflecting on God's timing, his favor and His overall greatness. Our girls were coming from an area of Florida where Jon and I celebrated his senior prom at the beach, where his dad had grown up, where we took a great trip with his mom before she passed away and where her ashes were scattered. Our connection to that part of the state was already so strong and now our girls were coming from that same area. The sunset was gorgeous that evening, icing on the cake. God is so good! We went to my parents' house to tell them and my sister and our 'niephews' the good news. It was one of the happiest times I can remember, with my niece losing her mind when she found out she would have girl cousins. As the only girl in a house full of boys, you can imagine her excitement. My mom and sis were weepy and my dad told Jon, "Welcome to fast forward, Big Dad"- his classic encouragement to new fathers. When we broke the news to Jon's parents they just laughed and laughed. His step-mom thought we were joking and then there were happy tears. Another memorable telling was when we told my best friend's son and showed him a picture- he whispered, "Yessss" and then had "allergy" issues in his eyes that caused them to water. So sweet!

Audrey, showing off her excitement

After that initial meeting we had another visit at a park and then a couple of visits at their home and then we were allowed a couple of unsupervised visits where we were able to take the girls out by ourselves for a bit. Our first unsupervised visit was to see Big Hero 6 with lunch at Arby's afterward. For the second visit we took them to lunch at Subway and then to a state park where we hiked along a river. After that, the girls were allowed an overnight at our house which just so happened to coincide with Thanksgiving weekend! They fit in like they'd always been here, taking to the dogs and our routine with ease. From then on, we had the girls every other weekend and then they stayed with us over Christmas break. Initially, we were supposed to have permanent guardianship then, but that didn't happen until the middle of January, but again God's timing was perfect. In that extra time, I was able to fully recover from the flu, Jon and I were able to have one last date day and we were able to secure a spot for Little Sis at the preschool we wanted her to attend. We also bought a van!!

Our first family photo :)

Big Hero 6

"Mr. Jon", as they knew him then :)

Cheese!

Getting my hair done :/

At the State Park on our second unsupervised visit

Thankful (Also, look at how baby-faced they were!!)

So, it's been a year since we learned of their existence and most days it feels like they've been here the whole time. Other days I look around at these little people who have taken over our lives and wondered how they got here and if there's been some mistake in making me their mother. But then I remember God's hand in this journey and His declaration that they are ours and my heart is at peace. I've heard people say this, and I never really understood it, but I can't imagine my life without these two precious girls in my life. I feel blessed that God knit our family together in this special way and I know He has a great plan and purpose for them!

*This is just our side of how our family came to be. Our girls have another side to this story, a side marked by loss, as all adoptive kids do, but that is their story to tell when and if they so desire. God isn't through with us yet, continually redeeming and restoring. Adoption is a beautiful example of that.*