It's Been a Year!

It was a year ago (tomorrow) that Jon and I were on the phone with a social worker, guardian ad litem and foster mother, asking questions about two little girls we had only heard about the week before. We had received a copy of the child study (background information, as well as behavioral and developmental details), had read it and were armed with a bunch of questions. We sat in Jon's truck at my work, nervously answering their questions about us. It was like the most high-stakes interview! We got good vibes from them; they seemed to like us and the social worker told us she'd be in touch, one way or the other, by the end of the week. We would have to wait 3 whole days to find out if we were a good match! Considering we'd been waiting for about 15 months to even get to this part in the process, 3 days shouldn't have been a problem but the thought of waiting that long was excruciating! What if they say no?!?!  Thankfully, we didn't have to wait three days, we only had to wait about an hour!! The social worker called back and said that they really liked us and if we were still interested, she'd like to schedule a face-to-face meeting!!

Us, right before the phone interview (All images are phone pics, so pardon the poor quality)

Let me back up for a minute to explain the process that led us to this point:
- We had to attend a 9 week course required for all prospective adoptive and foster parents, focusing on parenting styles and the unique issues that come with kids from foster care (June 2013, a day before our 10 year wedding anniversary!)

- Then we had to have a  series of 2 home visits in which a person we did not know came to our home to evaluate us to make sure we weren't crazy people who would harm a child, as well as a 50 question information packet we each had to fill out with questions ranging from where we were born, our parents' parenting styles, how we would parent, sibling information, etc. Additionally, we had to get fingerprinted for background checks at the Local, State and Federal levels. One of our biggest worries at this point was whether or not our case worker would be a dog person. It's one thing to say you like dogs, but to be greeted at the door by 3 big dogs could be a bit overwhelming. Our case worker was so sweet and loved our pups, even to the point of staring affectionately into Traddles' eyes as he invaded her personal space on the couch. In even the seemingly small concerns, God was telling us not to worry.

-We then waited to hear if our home study was approved. Another wait that felt excruciating, but in reality it was only a few weeks (December 2013)

-Now the real fun (NOT!) started- searching for our child/children. There are matching events which take place within our county  quarterly in which prospective adoptive parents who have an approved home study gather with social workers and some of the kids available for adoption to see if any sparks fly. We attended 4 of these. Meanwhile, we also searched online in the Heart Galleries to try to find our kids. We submitted our home study when we felt there was potential, getting more frustrated with each passing month that nothing was happening. In June 2014, we submitted our home study for a sibling group of three in a county near Tampa. We were told we were not a match, but that our home study could be kept on file in case we were a match for someone else. This seemed like a long shot (Why would they choose someone out of county?) but we gave our home study to the person whose name was provided.

-Late September 2014, on my TEN MINUTE BREAK at work, as soon as I sat down, my phone rang!! It was an unknown number, but at this point in our life we were answering every unknown number with great anticipation! A woman introduced herself and said she was from an adoption organization near Tampa. She said she had our home study on file and after a few minutes of me trying to remember who all we'd submitted our study to I finally figured out how she got ours in her hand (from our interest in the sibling trio over the summer). She said there were two little African-American girls, ages 3 and 5 who were ready for adoption and their team thought we'd be a good match. Were we interested? Uh, let me think....HECK TO THE YES!! She told me a brief synopsis of their history and I said that I think we were interested but I needed to talk to my husband and that I would call her right back. When I called Jon we just laughed and laughed.  God is good!

Before the face-to-face interview, we stopped at the beach

Our face-to-face interview took place the first week in October 2014. We were initially told that we might be able to meet the girls after the interview, but once we got there we were told that  a supervisor had said they had to interview other people and not just us, before a meet with the girls could take place. So, although that was disappointing, we understood that they need to make sure they were 100 percent sure of their decision before bringing the girls into the picture. This interview was basically exactly like the phone interview, except in person with a few more details thrown in. And we got to see a better picture of the girls than what was posted on the Heart Gallery. It was from their first day of school and we were both struck by how beautiful they were! On the way home we discussed how we felt it went, our disappointment at not being able to meet them yet, how long the drive was (2.5 hours!!) for a 30 minute interview. But then we got an e-mail saying that if we were still definitely interested, they wanted to know. They still had to interview other people, but wanted to make sure we were in it for good. We definitely were! The next week or so was just a bunch of waiting where daily we tried to reassure ourselves that God's plan for our family was perfect, trying not to get our hopes up too high. Then a word from God came to Jon saying that these girls were ours, we were to be their parents! That put our hearts at ease, but doubt started to creep back in as we hadn't heard from the social worker yet. Then, one morning as I was brushing my teeth and contemplating calling the social worker to see where we stood, God used my own words, the words I used on the kids I worked with, "This is one of those times where you just have to sit and be still." Ok, God, I trust you. Later that day, the social worker called and said that we were chosen to meet the girls and that we were the potential match for them!!

After meeting our kids!

I was pregnant once a long time ago. It resulted in a miscarriage. It was sad and awful, as these things usually are. The online due-date calculators told us that the baby would be born on October 17th. When that day came around, it was sad and awful all over again. But our God is a God of redemption and renewal and perfect timing. The social worker suggested October 17th as the day we would meet our girls. It was perfect. We were introduced to them as friends of their foster mom (who they call Grandma and who they lived with for 4 years while grown ups made choices that determined their future) and because we had seen pictures we spotted them right away. True to their nature, the little one took to use almost immediately and the elder one stood back and watched cautiously. We met at a park and they were just running the playground and making friends with other kids. The guardian ad litem suggested we take a walk to get the girls away from the more intriguing playground equipment so we could get to know them a bit. We walked to a skate park to watch the skaters and the little one climbed into Jon's lap and started squeezing his face and singing to him. How I wished I had my camera, the sun was coming in low and their two faces looking at each other were perfectly silhouetted against the light. But that image is etched in my memory and so who needs a camera, right?!? She jumped down a little while later and Jon took Big Sis to go look at the water. Little Sis climbed into my lap and talked to me briefly until she realized Jon had gone and said to me, "Hey! Where'd that other guy go?!?" and ran to catch up with him. He was her best friend from the beginning! There were piggy back rides and some hand holding and over all giddiness from Jon and me all while trying to play it cool.  I'm not sure what was going through their heads, but Big Sis has since told me that she knew when she saw us that we were going to be her Mommy and Daddy.  We were told that the meeting with the girls would be brief, maybe 15 or 20 minutes, but we were with them for 45 minutes! As the social worker walked us back to our car, she told us that we were the official match for the girls, if we were still interested. Of course we were and we already knew that!!!

Sunset on the way to my parents to tell them the happy news

We drove the back way through old stomping grounds, reflecting on God's timing, his favor and His overall greatness. Our girls were coming from an area of Florida where Jon and I celebrated his senior prom at the beach, where his dad had grown up, where we took a great trip with his mom before she passed away and where her ashes were scattered. Our connection to that part of the state was already so strong and now our girls were coming from that same area. The sunset was gorgeous that evening, icing on the cake. God is so good! We went to my parents' house to tell them and my sister and our 'niephews' the good news. It was one of the happiest times I can remember, with my niece losing her mind when she found out she would have girl cousins. As the only girl in a house full of boys, you can imagine her excitement. My mom and sis were weepy and my dad told Jon, "Welcome to fast forward, Big Dad"- his classic encouragement to new fathers. When we broke the news to Jon's parents they just laughed and laughed. His step-mom thought we were joking and then there were happy tears. Another memorable telling was when we told my best friend's son and showed him a picture- he whispered, "Yessss" and then had "allergy" issues in his eyes that caused them to water. So sweet!

Audrey, showing off her excitement

After that initial meeting we had another visit at a park and then a couple of visits at their home and then we were allowed a couple of unsupervised visits where we were able to take the girls out by ourselves for a bit. Our first unsupervised visit was to see Big Hero 6 with lunch at Arby's afterward. For the second visit we took them to lunch at Subway and then to a state park where we hiked along a river. After that, the girls were allowed an overnight at our house which just so happened to coincide with Thanksgiving weekend! They fit in like they'd always been here, taking to the dogs and our routine with ease. From then on, we had the girls every other weekend and then they stayed with us over Christmas break. Initially, we were supposed to have permanent guardianship then, but that didn't happen until the middle of January, but again God's timing was perfect. In that extra time, I was able to fully recover from the flu, Jon and I were able to have one last date day and we were able to secure a spot for Little Sis at the preschool we wanted her to attend. We also bought a van!!

Our first family photo :)

Big Hero 6

"Mr. Jon", as they knew him then :)

Cheese!

Getting my hair done :/

At the State Park on our second unsupervised visit

Thankful (Also, look at how baby-faced they were!!)

So, it's been a year since we learned of their existence and most days it feels like they've been here the whole time. Other days I look around at these little people who have taken over our lives and wondered how they got here and if there's been some mistake in making me their mother. But then I remember God's hand in this journey and His declaration that they are ours and my heart is at peace. I've heard people say this, and I never really understood it, but I can't imagine my life without these two precious girls in my life. I feel blessed that God knit our family together in this special way and I know He has a great plan and purpose for them!

*This is just our side of how our family came to be. Our girls have another side to this story, a side marked by loss, as all adoptive kids do, but that is their story to tell when and if they so desire. God isn't through with us yet, continually redeeming and restoring. Adoption is a beautiful example of that.*

It's Cold, Y'all!

My hands have been cold. all. day. long. I said to Jon recently that I wish we lived somewhere where we got real seasons. Florida has seasons but they go like this: Early Summer, Summer Summer (aka "Who opened the Sauna door?", aka "Don't Touch the Steering Wheel; Fingers Will Melt!"), late Summer, Fall (which usually lasts for about 2 weeks somewhere between October and mid-Februrary, and not all at once), 3.5 days of cold weather and then Summer starts all over again. Today was one of those rare cold days. Because we in the Sunshine State are so unaccustomed to cold weather, we tend to not be able to handle when temps drop below 65. One year, sinkholes formed all around the center part of the State because there was a freeze and, in order to Save The Strawberries!, sprinklers were run all night(s), using all the water, drying out the aquifer and creating large, dangerous, holes which opened up and swallowed houses and cows and stuff. Wal-Mart sells out of thermal underwear and gloves and socks. Fleece blankets fly off the shelf.  Kids come to school wearing every single cold-weather article of clothing they and their parents have ever owned. Everyone wears their one pair of closed-toe shoes.

 Today, the high was 45! Last night, it dipped below freezing! We covered our plants, guys!  These are the dire straights. My dogs' noses are practically ice cubes after a 10 minute jaunt outside and the pads of their paws are chilly just from walking around inside!  I hear the ridiculousness that is the weather reports for everywhere North of Miami  regarding the Swirling Vortex of Freezing Death Hell, ridiculousness made louder by my cold fingers, and I think maybe I don't really want to live in places where real seasons occur. *


* Subject to change at anytime.

The Oxford's 2013 Year in Review

Here are some of the things we did this year- I'll let the photos do the talking:

We rang in the New Year with dear friends and celebrated 1 year of precious life!

 

" A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves- a special kind of double." - Toni Morrison

 

After 3 years of home-ownership, we finally put some paint on the walls!

 

Pretty girl.

 

I had the amazing privilege of taking my favorite niece on her first airplane trip!

 

I was also able to be with her as she experienced her first ever snow!

 

We drove back from Alabama- an Aunt, her niece and her niece's niece :)

 

He got some $2 yard-sale rollerblades and the pups got their wiggles out!

 

Mr. Bones, a classy gent

Sometimes, when you're sleepy, it's good to play at Superman.

 

We were able to surprise our oldest nephew at his Elementary Graduation. How can he be in Middle School already?!?!

 

This little comedian turned 2!

 

We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in Savannah and, through the generosity of friends and family, were reminded just how much God loves us!

 

Someone turned 30!!

 

 

We were hosted by these sweet gals and their guy for a weekend and I got to shoot my first wedding!

 

 

Finally got a picture with this gal- she gets me. 'Nough said.

 

 

And danced the night away with this handsome fella'.

 

 

 

I spent the whole summer with these amazing kiddos! The boy taught me how to cast a net and the importance of positive words.

 

 

Had some houseguests for the weekend and we took a trek to the beach.

 

 

We completed a class. And passed the big test!

 

A new life made life seem complete. A blessing, truly.

 

This beautiful little lady turned 6!  She also lost her first tooth, not long after her birthday. Seriously, where's the Pause button?!?!

 

 

I started a new, second job: Lunch-line Cashier, at your service.... (This one's for you, Ter!)

 

 

Made crazy faces with friends.

 

 

We celebrated 11 years of our best friend's life by a trip to the beach- without the pups! He even got a cheeseburger on the way home!

 

We also celebrated this guy's 4th birthday...

 

 

And achievements in art and stepping outside one's comfort zone.

 

We met up with great friends in Charleston and made more memories!

 

Priceless.

 

 

Got a long overdue family portrait under our belts.

"Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children." Prov. 17:6

 

This sweet little gentleman turned 4!

 

We spent Christmas with our families and will ring in the New Year by catching up with old friends and then Jon will play at an unexpected, last minute gig. We look forward to 2014 and hold this truth in our hearts: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you,  plans to give you a hope and a future.'"- Jeremiah 29:11

May your 2014 be filled with hope and light!

Love.

My Baby is Eleven!

Today (or sometime around today) 11 years ago, our baby came into this world. He didn't join our family until he was 5 months old, but today (or sometime around today) he turns 11. He has been with us since before our marriage, was my constant companion in the time away from my new husband, traveled with me on my first solo overseas flight to be reunited with his Daddy, traveled back to America with us and then on to Europe.

Catching some sleep


 He visited France with us, explored small towns in Belgium. He endured knee surgery in Japan, has been fussed over by women in many different countries, but handles it all like the gentleman that he is.

In Bayeux, France

He understands my language perfectly, asks for permission to get on the couch and still greets us with the same enthusiasm and cries of joy upon our return home as he did so many years ago (thankfully, he's put the paper and underwear chewing habits aside). He's never been to 'school' yet knows far more than any of his peers. He has that sixth sense that his type are known for and comforts us when we are sad, smiles with us when we are happy. His smile makes me happy. 

Smiles



 He's not much of a snuggler, but gives the best 'hugs' this side of the Mississippi. Or the other side, for that matter. He's patient with his brother and sister (and great patience is needed!) and gentle with the furless, two-legged type of puppy. Everyone who knows him loves him. He's aged gracefully, hardly a white hair on his face, and still chases squirrels like it's his only role in life. I pray that he is able to do that until the very end and while it's not in sight, yet,  I pray that the end will stay away a bit longer.

 

At the North Sea, Belgium

To some it may sound crazy or unreasonable that so much love could be had for a 'dog' but he's never been just a dog to me. There's a Boomer-shaped piece of my heart and it will always be his.

 

Hunting. Scottsboro, Al

Anniversary Trip

(Or, How Two Florida Kids Get Sunburned in Georgia)

WARNING: This is a lengthy post.

This past weekend (look at me being all on top of things), Jon and I traveled to Savannah, Georgia to celebrate our TEN Year Wedding Anniversary. There's nothing like saying those words to make one feel instantly older. A phone call from the family of your flower girl and ring-bearer, who are now in their teens, will also do that to you. Ok, I'm sure a lot of things will make you feel older, but when you've been with the same person since you were 16, it's a weird mesh of the different effects of the passage of time.

We were very blessed by dear friends and family with this trip. It was quite the surprise! Very humbling and generous.

Our anniversary was on Friday, but Husband surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers the night before. Daffodils are apparently the 10-year flower, but they're out of season, so he chose all yellow flowers. He also got me an awesome picture frame which I will use to display a photo from out trip. I made him a DVD of pictures of us from the past decade to songs he's written.

We woke up late and took our time getting stuff together- it was vacation after all- and after a run with the pups and a bicycle tire repair, we were on our way!


My parents bought us a riverboat dinner cruise, so after checking into our hotel, we made our way to River Street in downtown Savannah. We boarded the boat and took our seats while listening to the  keyboard player announce birthdays and family reunions amid his 'hits from the past" renditions. We also got to take part in some fun people-watching courtesy of the slightly sloshed bachelorette party next to us. After we ate our meal, we made our way to the upper deck to the starboard side (ooo, naval talk) and watched the river carry us downstream. On the return back to the dock, we got to see some pretty amazing vessels. Daydreaming then ensued.

After disembarking (I'm a regular sailor, now), we cruised up and down River Street, stopping in the shops, before calling it a night.



Day two came bright and early and we ventured to Tybee Island to try our hand at kayaking. I was told on the phone to arrive at around 8 am for best conditions. We got there around 8:30 (not too bad for us!) and were greeted by a young guy who very unconfidently that the shop was still closed and that he didn't have a key. We had to wait until the kitchen staff showed up, so we took the opportunity to ride our bikes to the beach and around the island a bit. This is the only time I applied sunscreen. And only to my shoulders....

We saw this adorable old boxer who puffed his warning at us that we had come close enough.

 

After a while we went back to AJ's and secured our4-hour rental. The same young guy led us to our tandem kayak and with no instruction besides the general direction we should go, left us to our own devices. Our own devices were not very good and I'm sure he had a good chuckle before he came back to help us do the three-point turn it took to navigate between the other boats tied up on the dock. But we were off. And rowing upstream. Uptide? Something like that. It was hard and I felt like the least graceful thing on the water, but we soon got the hang of it and made it to Little Tybee Island which is only accessible by boat. We got out at a few places and cruised around on foot taking pictures of the landscape and collecting shells.

It was soon time to return, so we started back. Once we got into the mouth of the river (I think that was a river- you can take a point off my sailor status), we saw some dorsal fins popping out of the water. Sure enough, three dolphins were playing in the water up ahead! It was amazing. There was a boat out, from a dolphin tour, I think, so the dolphins actually went right up to that boat a few times. They didn't come too close to us, which is probably for the better since I was wary of being tipped over. We had had a close-ish call on the way back through the waves that I didn't want to repeat. One dolphin actually jumped out of the water to the left of us. I was able to catch some of it on video, but not the leap. The video isn't actually as entertaining as it was in person but it was incredible to be able to see them playing like that!

We had lunch at AJ's and realized that the tops of our legs were very red and I had weird spots of burn on the back of my shoulders. I apparently suck at applying sunscreen or actually thinking about the parts of my body that will actually be exposed to sun. For 4 hours. Anyway, we made sure to put some sunscreen on (better late than never, right?!?) and cruise around on the bikes for a while before heading back to Savannah.

We detoured to a Kroger on the way back (only to realize the next day that a Publix was directly across the street from our hotel!) to pick up some sandwiches and snacks for dinner. The day in the sun had taken it's toll and we were tired. Jon caught some zzz's while I read my book.

Now, let me back up for a minute. About 3 years back. French countryside, Champagne region. Great friends, champagne house tours. In the Moet & Chandon house, we learned that 2003 had been a good year for the grapes and they made a vintage out of it. For further explanation of what this means, consult Andy McFandy or, if you don't know him, google it. Anyway, it meant to us that there was a special label with our wedding year on it from our favorite brand and we were there where it was made so we bought a bottle. It has been sitting in our fridge for the past 3 years and we were eagerly awaiting the day we could pop that baby open!

That day came and it was delicious! Sparkly and yummy! It was a bit less fruity than the normal bottle, but my refined tasting vocabulary ends there. It was perfect. And a fun way to reminisce on one of the many highlights of our years as husband and wife.

Aug 2010, France

June 2013, Savnnah, Georgia

The next day was Sunday and if you're still reading this, then Yay! We checked out of our hotel and drove the few miles into downtown Savannah where we parked The Pearl and unloaded our bikes. We were near Forsyth park so we rode there and took photos near the fountain and read the signs about the park's history. I got a little homesick for our pups as it seemed everyone was out walking their dogs in this beautiful city park. If we squinted really hard, we could pretend we were in Europe!


After a cruise around the park, we set out in search of the pretty houses and antebellum style. I have to say, here, that my husband is an amazing man who puts up with my craziness and is able to sort though what I'm saying to figure out what I'm actually saying. Thank you!  I'll let the pictures do the talking here:

After lunch at Clary's we set off by car for Bonaventure Cemetery which we traversed by bike. This was a beautiful, peaceful place. I may have apologized to the resting dead for the loudness of my bike seat's springs. Again, some pictures:

Then it was time to go home. To our fubabies and the life God has so amazingly blessed us with!